One of the sports writers I’ve always enjoyed was Dan LeBatard of the Miami Herald. He had the right balance of ‘hey superstar athlete you’re a moron’ and ‘hey idiot fan, get off your judgmental high horse’ that suits my own personal take on the world of sports.
Muffy, who is not only wonder woman mommy but sports nut, sent me the link to Dan’s latest article, “Time to open a new chapter in my life“. In it he tells of his need to “concentrate on building the bridge to the second half of my life.” Thats is me. I am currently working towards another part of my life. I have so many dreams, ambitions and interests (as noted in the About page) that I don’t know what to do first or what I really want to do.
I can pretty much trace my indecisiveness about career and job to the Army. Its good for creating a jack of all trades, master of none. I did a little bit of everything. So I could bounce back and forth from different offices whose duties had nothing to do with each other. And I have to say I somewhat liked being a floater, the ringer, the closer. The person who could (learn just enough) to wing it get the job done.
But that also seemed to breed a bit of laziness. I will get excited at the beginning of learning something new. Shallow. But once it requires more effort I get a little skittish. I wonder if I’ll ever have an expertise at anything other than bull$h*&%ing. I’m long on potential and short on accomplishment. (This is where anyone who knows me will say I’ve accomplished a lot and I have unrealistic expectations for myself.) I’m long on ideas and short on follow through. You get the idea.
But back to what originally got me going. Dan’s decision to leave a pretty lucrative and perk-filled career. Do I have the guts to do that? I guess, at some point its less about guts and more about survival. You can’t escape that drowning feeling if you don’t get out of the water. For a long time I’ve felt I’ve done nothing more tread water.
And its not necessarily from laziness, though I have my moments. It has more to do with wanting to do and have it all. I haven’t found my bridge to my next life. Its more like wandering aimlessly through the desert. To say I’m indecisive is an understatement. I want to do almost everything under the sun (except manual labor) and none of them really have any connection to one another.
I ask Soldier (I’ll explain the kid’s nickname tomorrow) all the time what he wants to be when he grows up. Its pretty unfair of me to ask him that at nine. I’m um, considerably older and I’m still clueless as to what I want to do when I grow up. What I need to do is think differently.
Part of me acts like whatever career field I choose at this moment is what I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life. It doesn’t have to be that way. And with my personality it would bore me to tears. I need adventure and change. Funny, I’ve always considered myself someone who was allergic to change. Especially considering the last big change I made resulted in my getting laid of from a pretty nice salaried job and landed me back in mom’s home on receiving an unemployment check and feeling pretty worthless.
But change is good. And today I’m about to put something in the mail that will demand change…and send my life into a whirlwind. But I’m going to relish it. I’m going to take on the challenge and make the most of the opportunities that come my way for the next three years.
To change, challenges, pathways, life, fulfillment and true happiness. I love and embrace you all!
-INC
